February 1, 2008

Call Me Bitter!

Selected Scriptures from the Book of Ruth

I have a book on my book shelf with a rather disturbing title. The title is Disappointment with God.

I wonder if you have ever felt that way. I think many Christians would be quick to deny it. “Of course not! I’m a Christian. I love God and he loves me. How could you even suggest such a thing?” We know that is the correct answer; the answer we give out for public consumption to other Christians. But if we are honest, there are other times, private times, late-at-night-when-we-can’t-sleep times when troubling thoughts and feelings come uninvited to our minds. Whether we put the feelings into words or not, they are there. And the essence of those feelings is one of disappointment with God.

In the message today, we are considering the life of a woman who, I believe, experienced disappointment with God. The name of the woman is Naomi. Her story is told in the book of Ruth. You have all heard of mother-in-law jokes. I am not going to tell any today, but we are going to be looking at a mother-in-law story. Naomi is not the main character of this little book, tucked in between Judges and I Samuel. Ruth is. But I think we can learn some valuable lessons by looking at the story through Naomi’s eyes. We read the first part of the story in the Scripture reading this morning, but let’s take the time to read the first five verses again. (Read Ruth 1:1-5)

It is a tragic story of devastating loss. It is a time of famine. Naomi and her husband and two sons flee to Moab. There her husband dies. She and her sons remain in Moab. Her two sons marry Moabite women. But then more tragedy strikes when both of her sons also die. She is left as a widow in a foreign land. It is a huge emotional and relational loss. But it is also a devastating economic loss as well, as the lot of widows in the ancient world was a perilous one as she now had no source of economic support.

What was Naomi’s response? How did she deal with these tragic losses, especially on a cognitive, let’s say theological level? Let’s read the second half of Ruth 1:13 in her speech to her daughters-in-law.  No, my daughters. It is more bitter for me than for you, because the LORD’s hand has gone out against me.

Let’s skip down to 1:19-21: So the two women went on until they came to Bethlehem. When they arrived in Bethlehem, the whole town was stirred because of them, and the women exclaimed, “Can this be Naomi?”

“Don’t call me Naomi,” she told them. “Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.”

Her experience and her feelings are captured in the play on her name. Her name, Naomi, meant “pleasant.” The name she now gives herself is Mara, which means “bitter.” “I went out full, but I have come back empty,” she says, “And it is God’s fault. He is responsible. He has let me down.”

Life doesn’t always go the way we plan, does it? We start out with our dreams, our hopes, our aspirations. We set out to seek our fortunes in life and capture the dream. But somewhere along the line, things happen; things that were not in our plan. We battle chronic health problems, a child is born with or develops a disability, we struggle in our marriage, maybe the marriage breaks up. Or a spouse dies. We lose a job. The economy turns sour and our business fails. Our children rebel and go their own way.

The list can go on and on. Gradually the dream fades and we are left to wrestle with a very difficult reality. And if we are Christians, we are left with some very hard questions. What is God’s part in all of this? Does he care? If he cares, is he unable to act? What is going on? Gradually, almost imperceptibly, often unarticulated, we find ourselves disappointed with God. We are left either doubting God’s sovereignty or doubting his goodness. Naomi remained firm in her belief in God’s sovereignty, but found herself questioning his kindness. “Call me bitter, because the Lord’s hand has gone out against me.”

Have you ever felt that way? Are you feeling that way this morning?

But what Naomi did not see, what she could not see, was how God was already at work to restore her and to “fill” her life again. But before he could do so, there was something that needed to happen. Let’s do a little reading between the lines by bringing in the insights of other Old Testament Scriptures.

Verse 1 tells us that this story took place “in the days when the judges ruled.” What does that tell us? It was a time of chaos in Israel. It was a time, we are told, when “every man did that which was right in his own eyes.” It was a time when the nation and the society had largely turned away from God and his ways.

During those days we are told that “there was a famine in the land.” Such a statement should not surprise us. In fact it should have produced an immediate warning bell in the land. (Read Deuteronomy 11:13-17) Famine was a clear message from God to Israel that he was displeased with them and that they were in a state of apostasy. It was a sign of his discipline to call them back to repentance. The right response to a time of famine should have to repent and return and call upon the Lord.

But what did Elimelech do? We are told that he left the land. His home town was Bethlehem, which literally means “house of bread” in Hebrew. He left the “house of bread” and he went to Moab. Now, what did God think of the nation of Moab? (Read Deuteronomy 23:3-6) We begin to see how far off course this family is going. And the progression continues. Ruth 1:1 says that they went there “to live for a while.” It is the word for a temporary stay. But then in verse 2, we read, “they went to Moab and lived there.” It is a word for settling down more or less permanently; taking up residence. Verse 4 goes on to say that they lived there for about ten years.

Not only that, but the two sons took Moabite wives, which was also in disobedience to God’s command, as we saw in Deuteronomy. So, there they were, settled in Moab with little or no intention of ever returning. This is the key to our understanding of the story of Naomi. God could not bless that family or Naomi as long as they were living in disobedience, as long as they were out of the land. And so God begins to move Naomi back to the place of blessing. As we have seen, it was a painful process. First her husband died, then her two sons. The sum of Naomi’s losses is staggering; her husband, her two sons, her economic security, her status in the community are all gone.

But through it all, God did not forget Naomi. God was beginning to work, preparing his blessings. He was preparing to fill her emptiness once again. He did it, in this case, through her daughter-in-law, Ruth. This is truly a marvel of God’s grace. He was able to even use an aspect of the family’s own disobedience, this marriage to a Moabite girl, and turn it to her good and her blessing.

Naomi was blessed through Ruth’s loyalty. Ruth 1:16-17 is a rather famous passage of Scripture. It is one that is often read at weddings. But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you did I will die, and there I will be buried...” It is interesting that while it is a passage often used in weddings, it was originally spoken by a young woman to her mother-in-law! But it is a wonderful avowal of covenant love. God was blessing Naomi through this young woman. So often, God’s blessings come to us in the form of people whom he brings into our lives.

God is also working through his sovereignty. Look at Ruth 1:6: When she heard in Moab that LORD had come to the aid of his people by providing food for them…God in his own sovereign plan and timing lifted the famine and began to bless his people once again with food in the “house of bread.”

There are also other hints of God’s sovereignty in the story. In 1:22, we read that they arrive back just as the barley harvest was beginning. The timing is perfect. In the next chapter, Ruth goes out to glean in the fields, and we pick up the story in 2:3: So she went out and began to glean in the fields behind the harvesters. As it turned out, she found herself working in a field belonging to Boaz, who was from the clan of Elimelech. I love that little phrase “as it turned out.” I believe it is a bit of tongue in cheek writing; “It just so happened…” Of course it was all within the plan of God.

Most of you are familiar with the rest of the story, so I will just sketch the broad outline. Boaz finds Ruth in his fields and inquires about her, and in a classic Old Testament love story, proposes to her and ultimately marries her. A son is born to the marriage. The stigma and poverty are removed. By Jewish custom, the son that was born to Ruth was legally Mahlon’s son and Naomi’s grandson. Ruth 4:10 makes this clear: I have also acquired Ruth the Moabitess, Mahlon’s widow, as my wife, in order to maintain the name of the dead with his property, so that his name will not disappear from among his family or from the town records. Today you are witnesses.

Let’s read the rest of the story: (Read Ruth 4:13-16)

Culturally speaking, it is a story of complete restoration and wonderful personal blessing. This daughter-in-law who loves you is better than seven sons. And even more remarkable than that is what we find in verse 17: The women living there said, “Naomi has a son.” And they named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David.” And of course we know that David was the ancestor of Jesus, the Messiah.

What a contrast between chapter 1 and the end of chapter 4. “Call me bitter. I have come back empty. God is against me.” Now she is sitting in the sun, holding little Obed as the women of the village gather admiringly around. Obed, grandfather of King David, ancestor of the Messiah.

Maybe this morning you still identify more strongly with that first picture in chapter 1. Call me Mara, bitter; disappointed with God; doubting either his sovereignty or his goodness. What words of counsel can we take from this story?

First, acknowledge your feelings to God. This is an important first step. God can handle your feelings. He is not threatened. Naomi was not wrong to express her struggles or her feelings as she did. There are many Biblical examples to encourage us to be honest with God; David in the psalms, Job, Jeremiah, Habbakuk. All too often we feel disappointed with God, but it feels to heretical to actually say it, to express it. So we bottle it up. But the feelings are still there. And when we bury them they grow and gradually, if we are not careful, our faith begins to shrivel up, to be covered over by a hard crust of cynicism and bitterness. On the surface we may still be polite and correct, saying the right things. But underneath the battle rages. Get the feelings out. Say them. Write them. Talk them over with someone.

Second, ask yourself whether you are “out of the land.” I think this is a significant feature of the story we have been looking at. God was applying discipline to his people. But Elimelech and his family ran away. Like Jonah, they headed for distant shores. And they stayed there. Please listen to me carefully. I am not suggesting that all hard and painful experiences come because of God’s discipline. But it is a possibility. Examine your heart and life. Have you left the place of blessing? Remember, for us, “place” is a matter of spiritual condition, not geography. If you conclude that you are running from God, then you need to go back to the point of disobedience. You need to confess your sin and your disobedience and make it right, as much as it is in your power to do so. Then begin to walk with God. Come back to the “house of bread”, the place of God’s blessing.

If you have been faithful and obedient to God, and tragedy and trouble have still come, what then? I don’t want to be guilty of giving pat answers. The pain is real and the confusion in our hearts is real. I can offer you this word of hope; not to take the pain away, but to make the pain bearable. If you are a child of God, seeking to walk in obedience, God’s purpose for you is good.

Satan’s ultimate temptation to us is to cause us to doubt the goodness of God. We may not understand what God is doing or why. But hang on. Your reward is coming; maybe in this life, but definitely in the life to come. This is the essence of faith, is it not? And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. (Hebrews 11:6)

That doesn’t mean you have to deny the pain, paste on a smile and pretend everything is wonderful. Go ahead and cry when you need to. Tell God how you feel. But through it all, remember God loves you. His purpose for you is good. There are times that life will empty us and seemingly turn us inside out. But be patient. Persevere. In time you will take your place beside Naomi, your losses restored and the blessings of God rich all around you.