February 29, 2008

LESSONS IN RECIPROCAL LIVING

Selected Scriptures

This is the third of five messages on the church. In the first message we looked at the raw material of the church and we found that Christ is building his church out of sinners saved by grace. We are a fellowship of sinners who have experienced the grace of God. Then last week we looked at how Christ views the church and how he feels about it. We found that he values the church so highly that it is referred to as his Body, his Bride and his Home or dwelling place on earth. Such an identity carries with it both immense privilege and immense responsibility.

Last week’s message focused on what we might refer to the vertical dimension of the church: the church as it relates vertically to Christ and responds to him in obedience and worship and love. But to truly understand the significance and functioning of the church, we must also consider the horizontal dimension of church life. When we speak of the horizontal dimension, we are referring to relationships within the church and how we relate to one another as fellow members within the church.

The two dimensions of church life are actually both portrayed in the metaphor of the church as the Body of Christ. The vertical dimension is depicted in the relationship between Christ as the Head, and the rest of the church as his Body. One of the phrases that was explored in last week’s sermon was the danger of “losing connection” with the Head and how disastrous that is. The horizontal dimension is portrayed in the way the different members of the body are related to each other. There are many members with different functions, but together they make up one body.

In Romans 12:4-5, we read, “Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.”

Paul follows that statement in Romans with a discussion of spiritual gifts. We will explore that subject next week. But today I want to take it in another direction, based on that statement that “each member belongs to all the others.”

The title of the sermon is Lessons in Reciprocal Living. There is a series of commands or statements in the New Testament which might be referred to as “reciprocal commands or reciprocal responsibilities.” What does the word “reciprocal” mean? It is actually a grammatical term. The English language is rather clumsy in expressing the reciprocal relationship. It takes two words to say it in English; the words “one another.” In Greek, it’s a little easier. They have words that are called reciprocal pronouns, so they can express the concept in one word. I like the Swahili language even better. In Swahili, you can just add a simple prefix of two letters (na) to the end of a verb to express this idea. Tutaona means “we will see” but tutaonana means “we will see each other or we will meet.” Nitazungumza means “I will talk,” but tutazungumzana means “we will talk with each other or converse together.” That’s a long enough Swahili lesson for today. But the idea behind something being reciprocal is that of mutuality. There are a number of commands or phrases in the New Testament which instruct us un in the way members of the church are to relate to one another; what they should not do to each other, and what they should do for each other. In this message we are going to survey those responsibilities together.

To start with, there is one over-arching command which embodies and includes all the others. In John 13:34-35, Jesus has this to say to his disciples: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

That is the one big command that contains all the others. This is central to our identity as a church. In his message several weeks ago, Dr. Briscoe defined the members of the church as “disciples of Jesus.” Here Jesus tells us that he is giving the rest of the world the right to judge whether we are his disciples or not, based on whether or not we love each other. This should be the defining mark of Jesus’ disciples! This should set us apart from the rest of the world. “Behold how they love one another!”

As we look at the rest of the one another phrases, we are really simply looking at a variety of ways we can demonstrate this love to one another or fail to demonstrate it. As we look at these commands, I want us to first of all consider some “Love Busters,” and then we’ll look at some “Love Builders.”

The Love Busters are included in a series of negative commands; things that God tells us not to do. We are not going to spend a long time on these. There is a list of them on the handout, along with the references in which they occur. Let me just read the list: Do not judge one another. (Romans 14:13) Do not speak evil of one another. (James 4:11) Do not murmur against one another. (James 5:9) Do not provoke one another. (Galatians 5:25-26) Do not envy one another. (Galatians 5:26) Do not lie to one another. (Colossians 3:9-10)

These are all “love busters.” They are actions that destroy love. They are actions and attitudes which create barriers and divisions and hostility within the Body of Christ, rather than love. There are certain diseases of the human body which are referred to as “auto-immune” illnesses, in which the body produces antibodies which actually begin to attack the body itself. The body is at war with itself, molecule against molecule, cell against cell. The behaviors on this list are examples of an “auto-immune” disorder in the Body of Christ, as members attack one another. Paul describes it rather graphically in Galatians 5:15: But if you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.

Take a moment to think back over your week. Have you engaged in any “love busting” behavior this week? Have you done any “biting and devouring”? It is revealing to look at that list, and realize how many of them are committed with the tongue. I wonder if we need to do some repenting and confessing this morning.

Just as there are Love Busters which we are warned against, so there are some Love Builders which we are commanded to practice and obey within the church. Let’s look at eight of them.

1. Encourage One Another

Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. (I Thessalonians 5:11)

I preached a message back in October on the life of Barnabas. It was the week that many of you were away at the Family Retreat. But in that message, I defined “encouragement” as coming alongside to offer whatever words are needed to keep the other person going. Sometimes they may need comfort. Other times they may need exhortation. Still other times they may need to “en-couraged” or infused with new courage for the task or challenge ahead. Barnabas was a man who was always looking for someone to encourage.

There’s another love builder in this same verse that is carefully linked to it.

2. Build One Another Up.

Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up just as in fact you are doing. (I Thessalonians 5:11)

Romans 14:19 also builds on this theme: Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. The word “edification” is the same Greek word. It means to build up. And “mutual edification” means we are building each other up. You are building me up and I am building you up. When it is practiced, it is a powerful force in both of our lives.

When you link these first two commands together, it is a fairly comprehensive concept. It covers a lot of territory. To build up and encourage: it is the opposite of words and actions that tear other people down. The negative commands are really all about tearing people down, making them smaller, belittling them. Once again, analyze your speech over the past week, how much was encouraging? How much contributed to building up rather than tearing down?

Building up and encouraging one another can be done in a whole variety of ways. It can be done in public and it can be done in private, one on one. You can write it in a note or an e-mail or even a text message if you know how to work those crazy things. A quiet word of praise or a word of concern speaks volumes. It can be just a comment or question: “You look tired today. Are you OK?” “I appreciate your hard work. Thank you for your faithfulness.”

How would our church be different if every one of us came to church on Friday with a simple goal: I want to encourage at least one other person today. What a difference! This is the body ministering to itself.

3. Admonish One Another.

I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct (admonish) one another. (Romans 15:14)

The word itself means “to warn; to inform of the consequences of continued wrong behavior. In I Corinthians 10:11, Paul speaks of Israel’s history and then says, “These things were written down for our warning.” That is the same Greek word.

Now this one can be risky. That is why most of us avoid doing it. It’s not easy to get it right. There are people in the Body of Christ who seem to enjoy it. They have the self appointed “gift of criticism.” I would suggest that if you enjoy doing it, you’re not doing it right or at least you’re not doing it with the right motives. But having given all these cautions about possible misuse or abuse of this idea, I think it is important to stress that if we truly love each other as we are commanded to do, then we will sometimes have to risk rejection and speak to another believer when we see him or her embarking on a course of action that can only lead to disaster and heart ache.

4. Be Servants to One Another

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather serve one another in love. (Galatians 5:13)

What a powerful example of love this is in the church. And there is no shortage of ways to do it. Looking for, seeing and meeting needs; that is what a servant does. No great fanfare, no sounding of trumpets. Our church is blessed with many people who serve in a great variety of ways, but we are always looking for more, both in formal and informal roles. Since we moved into the new building, we need more ushers and greeters and people to serve refreshments. Those are more formal roles and we need volunteers, especially in the early service. But there is also a general spirit of service that should pervade a church. What about the simple matter of choosing your chair, and moving over so that the available seats are more accessible? Do we come to church on a Friday, looking for people we can serve? What a powerful testimony that is to the first time visitor and observer.

Of course I have started with the very simple gestures of service and courtesy on a Friday. This command can go so much deeper and further as we practice it throughout the week, as we take meals to the sick or offer to baby sit so young parents can have a night out, or help someone move into a new flat, or offer someone a ride, or show a newcomer around the city. It is a tremendous love builder. Serve one another.

5. Bear One Another’s Burdens.

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)

This is another powerful love builder. As Paul himself states, bearing another’s burdens fulfills the law of Christ. The law of Christ, of course, is the law to love one another as Christ loved us.

In the specific context of Galatians 6, the burden that Paul refers to is the burden of sin. Verse 1 tells us that when a brother is caught in a sin, we are to restore him gently. This is the specific burden we are asked to carry for our brother and sister. But the principle of burden bearing has a much broader application. Life produces many heavy burdens: burdens of an unhappy marriage, burdens from raising a family, burdens from a child who is rebelling. There are financial burdens and emotional burdens and burdens that come from illness. The church is to be a place of compassion where we help carry one another’s burdens and do what we can to lighten the load.

6. Be hospitable to one another.

Peter says it clearly in I Peter 4:9: Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.

Hospitality was a matter of vital importance in the early church. Travel was difficult and places of public accommodation en route were dirty, dangerous and often unavailable. So as Christians traveled and moved around, it was a tremendous ministry to find a place of welcome and hospitality. These circumstances are not so true today. But the key principle remains the same; using our homes and resources to show love and meet needs.

Loneliness can be a tremendous problem in Abu Dhabi. Most of us are far from our family and friends. What a wonderful opportunity to show love to one another. We try to plan regular church events to give people a chance to eat and fellowship together. Our “friends at ECC” ministry works hard at putting together ways to bring people together. But nothing we plan can ever take the place of the spontaneous hospitality that you show to one another. It can take the form of inviting people out to a meal after church, or even just meeting for coffee. I know many of you live in small or shared accommodation where it is difficult to have people into your homes, but there are still ways you can reach out to people and make them feel welcome and loved.

Let me add an important observation regarding a church like ECC. We are a very transient congregation. Over 30 % of our congregation could be defined as newcomers. If you’ve been here 2 years, we’re ready to give you a card as a charter member! What’s my point? There is sometimes a tendency to wait for others to extend hospitality to us as the newcomer. This is understandable. But you need to realize that the person sitting next to you may be as new as you are, or even more so. He’s waiting for you to make the first move, just like you’re waiting for him. We need to all take on this responsibility of hospitality. I remember last summer, one Friday Esther Ruth and I met a new couple who had just arrived in the church. We struck up a conversation and as we were free that day, we invited them to join us for lunch. We had a wonderful visit. But here’s the clincher. The next Friday, I overheard this same couple introduce themselves to another couple who had just arrived. And they invited them to go out to lunch. That’s a great model! The church is too big and too mobile for us to legislate and organize this. We all need to keep our eyes open for opportunities to extend hospitality to one another. It is a great love builder.

7. Greet one another.

This one might sound almost too simple, even trite. But it’s in the Bible! Paul says it in I Corinthians 16:20: Greet one another with a holy kiss.

This command is sometimes a bit tricky to carry out in a multi-cultural church like ours. If you’re like me, you’re sometimes puzzled about the protocol of greetings. It’s hard to know who to kiss, where to kiss them, and how many times, and who to hug, and who to stand back and give a more formal handshake to. We all suffer minor embarrassments and feel awkward from time to time when we get it wrong. But let’s not stop trying! Greeting one another is a simple but practical way to express Christian warmth and acceptance. It is true whether we are meeting at church, or meeting during the week.

8. Pray for one another.

James 5:16 says, “Pray for one another.” The context of James’ words is that of prayer for physical healing. It applies to that, but also to so much more. Let’s not overlook this very obvious and tangible way of expressing our love and concern for one another. This means praying for people on a regular basis when you know they have a specific need. But what I find is even more powerful and immediate is to pray with someone right on the spot. I will often pray over the phone when someone calls about a concern or need. Or if they share with me in person, I will frequently ask, “Can I pray for you?” Simply putting my hand on their shoulder and praying a short prayer for the specific need they’ve shared can be a powerful way to minister to them.

Of course there is a whole variety of ways to pray for one another through our prayer ministry on Friday mornings and throughout the week. Prayer binds us all together in love.

Well, there are eight very specific ways to fulfill the law of Christ and show love to one another. The church is a fellowship, a community of sinners, saved by grace. It is a fellowship that is to be characterized by the love that we show to one another. “We are members of one another.” Let’s look for ways to express that love to one another. Don’t just wait to be the recipient of love. Be an initiator. These are the things that make a church come alive, that make it warm, that make it a joy to attend and be a part of.

I would like to conclude by highlighting that in this whole area of what is sometimes referred to as “body life” in the church, we here at ECC face some unique challenges as well as some exciting opportunities. The challenge is our diversity. We are all so different and we come from so many different backgrounds and cultures. We carry some different expectations. We can inadvertently cross cultural lines or taboos and offend each other without ever knowing it. If we are honest, most of us carry some biases and even prejudices from our backgrounds and experiences. Sharing the love of Christ in this setting can be extremely challenging and even problematic. How do we get past the differences to experiencing true oneness in Christ? How do we keep from just clustering in our own cultural groupings? It isn’t easy! It’s hard! It takes work. It takes intentionality. It takes being willing to go outside our comfort zone to reach out to others in the church. That is our special challenge.

As I said, our greatest challenge in this area is our diversity. But guess what? Our greatest opportunity in this area is also our diversity. We have an opportunity to demonstrate something unique, something different. We can demonstrate a oneness in Christ that goes beyond culture and race and customs. In a divided world, we can show the oneness of Christ in very tangible ways.

I remember several years ago, we were having our church picnic at the Guest Palace Park and we were doing one of our tug-of-war competitions. There was a happy chaos and hubbub of Filipinos and Americans and South Africans and Indians and youth and children and adults all interacting and laughing and having fun together. I was standing watching and there were two Arab men standing beside me, also watching. They weren’t part of our group but had wandered over to see what was going on. Puzzled, one of them turned to me. “What is this group?” he asked. “Is it a school? Is it a club?” I took great joy in saying to him, “No, this is a church.” He left with a thoughtful expression on his face.

Our diversity also creates a wonderful opportunity. As we, in the midst of our differences, practice the reciprocal commands of Scripture, our actions will cause the larger community around to look at ECC and know that we are Jesus’ disciples, because we love one another.